Ano sa, ano sa
Somehow I couldn’t really carry that message yesterday. Usually I want to say “I’ll do it!” to whatever that was said. But yesterday? Chotto omosugiru na….. I want my stamina to be really high but mine is actually pretty low. So yesterday is another time for me to realize that this whole business is some really serious business. It makes me wonder why someone like me even got the invitation.
It’s really different, I feel. Acting to become a good model and acting to make people around you like you. When I think of the first one, I just feel like dying. Because everyone around me seems like a better model than me. When I think of the second one, I do it too much and way too much. Too much because I would even lie to preserve my ‘good reputation’. Dame desu ne. So these few days, I’ve been realizing what I liar I am. I want to stop lying and say the truth and think the truth and think truthfully and act with truth all the time, insyaAllah.
So I want to be serious too like you. When I try to go beyond capacity, everything, even the ones I could manage before, just crumble. So I’ll pick up the pieces now, and finish what I needed to finish before moving on to the next one. I have to admit that my stamina is pretty rubbish. But I can’t go forward and take on more responsibilities if I’m still rubbish at my current tasks.
So please be patient with me. Please pray for me. Please continue to guide me.
