Kan setan tak bleh kacau manusia biler ramadhan kan (the setan i bebel here tak count the jin setan or manusia setan EH). So then, biler ramadhan, i pikir ah, aper keburukan yang memang datang dari diri sendiri. Actually tak payah pikir, terlampau banyak sangat kat hadapan mata, terlampau obvious sampai bleh jadi buta.
Okay, skarang sebab saya tak moh blajar and dah fed-up main Diner Dash, meh kiter share-share kemerepekan-kemerepekan ego kita, yahooooooooooo!
1) I AM HORNY. Memang, dari kecik sampai besar horny. Agaknya sampai tua pun jadi cam gini. Ish, ish, ish. Actually sungguh mem-fedupkan, sebab even tanpa menyedari, sexual thoughts masuk kepala pastu kena istighfar. FEDUP! FEDUP! This is memang bagus punyer reason untuk kahwin ASAP. Jadi biler dah kahwin, dah tak kwaser nak pikir ni semua benda bahalul sebab dah dapat buat, HUR HUR HUR. Lagi-lagi kalo dah ader anak, WOH TAK KWASER LANGSUNG NAK BUAT PUN!
2) Asyik pikir nak jadi pop star!! Gaknya asyik tengok Singapore Idol jer, pastu jadi cam gini. Tapi sebenarnya, memang dari kecik nak jadi orang famous or notorious. Jadi everytime mesti daydream pasal all kinds of situations yang buat I LOOK COOL LIKE THAT. Buang maser kan? All those daydreams dari kecik sampai dah dua puluh tahun sekarang remain daydreams, and I tak KWASER nak aim for them, I tak even tahu where those daydreams are good dreams to realize. They are just KEMEREPEKAN YANG SANGAT PENTING UNTUK EGO-BOOST. Abih yang more merepek is that the famous orang dalam my daydream is not EVEN ME. It’s my “alter egos” yang look SO HAWT. Agaknya I also nak look as HAWT as my alter egos. Kok I never nampak manusia yang tengok as HAWT. Yang paling close is Leon Scott Kennedy from Resident Evil, OOH LA LA but I digress.
Masalah ini I don’t know how to solve lah. I cam dah identified with these ‘alter egos’ dalam my kpala hotak and asyik daydream pasal them and their lives jer. I don’t know ah, how to buang them effectively. I think they are the products of the root of which I have no idea of. But maybe I do know what the root is, or in other words, AGAKNYA AKU TAHU APA AKARNYA!
I think right, yang even though I tahu yang I shouldn’t do things for my ego boost, I STILL WANT TO DO THEM BADLY. So all these repressed desires find release through my imagination, where I can execute them to the fullest. That’s why, inside my daydreams, always got pride-reinforcing events happening. So I think this is the main cause……. what’s the solution then? Maybe I should bring out all those pride and superiority complex and materialism and hatred into the world, and then watch them RECOIL BACK ON ME!!!!!!!!! Then I will feel so much pain that I TOBAT NASOHA FOR GOOD! Good plan or not?
3) Dendam yang membara!! Dari kecik kan, I argumentative ah (obviously something to do with pride, DUH! I hate how everything interrelates.) and suka carik gaduh AND suka MENANG the arguments. But then biler I besar sikit, I pikir it BODOH ah to be like this, so I just tahan inside and tak carik pasal and always be willing to ‘KALAH’ (but not too badly). And then, when I jadi lagi besar, I begin to respect my fellow human beings more and decide to look from their point of view when having a discussion with them. But when I do this, it makes me accumulate DENDAM YANG MEMBARA! Cos some of them tak try and look from other point of views, and just nak carik pasal asking questions banyak-banyak, just banyak retorts yang I could come up with when I was 7 years old lah. So this makes me FED-UP but I keep the DENDAM YANG MEMBARA inside.
I also ader keep all my DENDAM MEMBARA since I was very kecik ah. I DON’T FORGET WHAT YOU BUAT KAT ME, YOU RETARD. EVEN NOW I STILL REMEMBER. Yeah, so I that kind of orang, who dragging huge luggage from childhood and cursing under the breath. Very THE SAD. I tengah try ah, to just FUHGEDDABOUTIT and doa YA HALIIM YA HALIIM YA HALIIM and YA SABUUR YA SABUUR YA SABUUR. No reason to be angry rite? Cos everything comes from God, YAHOO! Yah lah, I can blab-blab pasal all this, but I still in the stage of applying them. BOO BOO
Anyway, the dendam membara stuffs also manifest kat my daydreams, where I execute out what I WOULD HAVE DONE AND SAID TO THOSE RETARDS IF I DIDN’T HAVE SELF-CONTROL. Why can’t I just be happy? Y_Y
4) I NAK MOST ORANG TO HAVE CRUSHES ON ME. I think I tengok too much animes ah. But then it also best to tengok SWAMI jealous. But then I kena think, “Would I suka it if I plak yang jadi JEALOUS? NO I WOULDNT!” So then I shouldn’t carik pasal, even in daydreams!
Anyway, it seems like all the MAIN CRIMES I BUAT is kat dalam my daydreams. What happens outside my head, man?! Okay, gonna move out my head and tengok at the merepek I do OUTSIDE:
5) Lazy to study. SO SAD!! Y_Y
6) Like to sleep all the time and every now and then, wake up late for Subuh. Plus, I have missed SAHUR SO MANY TIMES, OH THE SAHUR BARAKAH HAS GONE, BOOHOO! y_y
7) Like to MAKAN KAT LUAR + ORANG TO BLANJA ME. I am so STUPID.
8 ) SMAYANG TAK KHUSYU’ <– camner nak khusyu’ sey, asyik daydream jer.
9) Lambat-lambatkan smayang! <— oh, I am the most meraban in the world!
10) ASYIK MAIN DINER DASH AND THINK ABOUT PLAYING RESIDENT EVIL JER! Oh noes, why do I let games dominate my life? =(
11) I like to PLAN MY DAYS. It’s so fun planning. But I always overdo it…. cam, I bangun tido, pastu lie on the bed staring at the ceiling for one hour, planning what I’m going to do. SO BUANG MASER.
12) ASYIK DENGAR MUSIC JER. And then tak concentrate kat dzikr, ISH ISH ISH.
Okay! I cannot take this anymore! (I probably can, but my ego tak bleh) Now gonna…….. do other stupid things, BUBBAIZ MA’ASSALAM.
