Hello and welcome to BABY MILLY UWEK UWEK!
Today, we will be witnessing one of the greatest moments in history! Over 100 babies have applied to participate in this competition! We enjoyed looking at the pictures on their forms and had to wipe our drool frequently during the whole selection process!
However, some babies have broken the rules and were immediately disqualified! But don’t worry, babies, it’s not your fault! It’s your PARENT’S fault.
Again, be clear that in accordance with the 1998 Huggies Pampers protocol, we cannot admit siamese twin babies, babies who were still in the womb (i.e. living foetuses) during the time of registration, babies whose existences are disputed (see section 7.5 on Scientologists), babies who eat other babies, ugly babies and babies of such parents – one of them pure Thai and another pure Malay!
Now let’s begin the show by welcoming the babies we have selected for this competition. The competition will test the babies’ vocal abilities, concentration abilities and crawling abilities! All babies are positioned behind the yellow starting line and the parents wait for their babies at the red line – a distance of 5 metres away! These babies will then begin crawling to their parents as fast as they can! I can’t wait to see the wiggling diapers, OMG SOMEBODY COOL ME DOWN! There is also another important rule! When crawling, the babies must keep going, “MAMMA! MAMMA!” and are not allowed to become quiet or say anything else!
Parents have to keep encouraging their babies to move as fast as possible! Cheer for your babies! Dance for your babies! Do whatever it takes to get them moving! Moms and dads, remember! Your babies must crawl back to YOU! If he or she crawls into someone else’s arms, then you not only LOSE, you not only LOOK BAD, but that someone gets the CHARISMATIC PRIZE!
So for those who LOVE winning prizes, don’t just try and pull your baby towards you! Target other people’s children too!
To make this competition harder, we have installed several of our people at the red line! They will try and confuse your babies! Some of them will even put on masks to look like you! Some of them have dressed up as you and some of them just emanate a kind of magnetism babies find hard to resist! What a challenge!!
Those watching at home can join this great game too by placing bets! Choose wisely and you might win millions of dollars at the end of this competition! For more information, call our hotline number and get ready to RISK IT ALL!
We will begin the competition soon but first for a commercial break! Later after the break, we’ll also be telling you more about the program you’ve been waiting for: BABY IDOL! So stay tuned!!
